welcome to my blog hun

entry 1: april 20, 2020

hey... its been a while but im back. decided to hop on this now that i have nothing better to do cuz of rona. while i was gone i turned 18 so thats cool. im legal now. i also started driving on the actual hecking street. im so grown up lol. btw happy 4/20 to the peeps that enjoy the weeds. im honestly really bored but i cant do anything about that ;P. i hope everyone is staying safe now and washing yalls hands and shit. i stg if i find out that any of my friends get sick i will kill that bitch corona will my bear hands. on another note, ive gotten back into aikatsu which is an idol anime i used to watch when i was younger. it seems like everyone is getting back into their old fandoms during this "break". im lucky i havent gotten back into my creepypasta phase yet XD. its probably going to happen soon tho. ive gotten a lot of my schoolwork done during this so i have a pretty chill week! im so happy i get to relax a bit. i need to listen to some more music though. can i also add that i finally opened up my namjoon doll and i placed him in the most cursed possible way. ill put a picture below so you can see my piece de resistance. seriously watch aikatsu(its so cute) and mayeb consider listening to bts<3 i love you guys and hopefully ill get back to working on this site more regularly. stay safe yall

entry 2: april 21, 2020

im not sure if i should be updating everyday or if something happens but i have nth better to do... i tried to fix things up with the home page today but im too dummy to do it :( im so impessedd with the ppl who can actually code... im just doing this for fun but i want to get better anyway. ill do some more research and make this shit look better. anyway, lets get off that topic. i kinda had a breakdown yesterday and listened to a shit ton of music and cried. u know ur not doing doing well when ur crying to a doja cat song... ig this distancing is getting to me more than i thought. i rly miss my friends (╯︵╰,) i dont want to go back to school but i want my friends you know. i cant wait to see all of them once this is over. on another note, you should listen to this korean artist called summer soul. shes super unknown but she has really good songs. i would suggest barefoot first since its less experimental than some of her newer stuff. if you like barefoot, than try a.i. (artificial impression). hopefully this gives her a few more fans but probably not lol. this is kinda fun. its like having social media but its not conected to me and my face. its so niche that ppl i know prob wont find it or care. i can be me without having the anxiety i usually have when posting. plus i feel more like a character on here than purely myself. its me obviously but its just a different version of me that i cant show irl. its rly nice. thanks for reading. i know this is long and theres no point to it but i needed to kinda vent haha

entry 3: april 22, 2020

i did it!!! ♪┏ ( ・o・) ┛♪┗ (・o・ ) ┓♪┏(・o・)┛♪ i fixed what i wanted to yesterday. if youve been checking my stuff out for a bit then youd notice that stuff looks pretty different. im going really hard on pinks lately so every page has pink in it!!! i feel a lot better than i did before too. i tried some things that would make me feel creatively fulfilled and this website has been one of those things. i also created life yesterday. theyre amazing and adorable and my child. all pronouns are fine but they dont have a name... maybe neo... what do you guys think??? i know you cant respond but its worth a try lol. on another note, i might create a music page to talk about the music i like. its mostly gonna be kpop but i think it could be fun. maybe have a central hub and then you click on pictures of the artist and go to their own page. i havent tried anything like that yet so it could be cool to try out. honestly im mostly getting this idea from rat. they have a super awesome site and its super impressive. hopefully i get to that level one day ≧◡≦ off topic but i really need to clean my room. i did laundry a couple days ago but i havent folded them yet... theyre gonna be so crinkled o(╥﹏╥)o i also need to paint my mom something for her birthday. im not very good at art but i want to try and make her something cute. i also need to make her a card. she deserves something incredibubble because shes such a great mom. im also painting stuff for my bff's birthday. i wont say anything about it just in case she remembers that this exists and looks at it (≧o≦) i havent done any schoolwork this week so i should probably start some soon. but thats BORING (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ i just want to have funn, vibe and eat pretzel sticks all week. okay im gonna go. if i stay any longer thisll turn into an essay and im trynna avoid that XP make sure to take care of yourselfs

entry 4: april 28, 2020

hey yall!!! im back bb \(^○^)人(^○^)/ i was gone for a bit because i went to my moms house. she really liked the painting i made for her! ill put a pic below i guess. anyway, ive been helping take care of my siblings so i dont have as much time to post stuff. but i have some more things to talk about now! my big brother came over and it was really fun hanging with him. hes super funny and im always trying to copy his delivery but im not that good at it >.< ive also been playing a heck-ton of sims 4! its fun playing it when you take a long break. im trying to do the legacy thing but im not sure if ill have the patience for it ◑.◑ oh! i bought myself a switch lite! it comes in tomorrow and im mega excited!!! i finally get to play animal crossing! i dont really know a lot of the villagers but im slowly learning about some of them from like tiktoks and random things on my insta and twitter. im happy that i finally get to own my own console. most of the time im borrowing consoles from my brother or i have games on consoles that i cant take to my dads house(where i live most of the time). I get to have my own thing and now my brother is the one who has to ask to use it ( ̄ー ̄) another thing i want to talk about is that im slowly getting the music hub together but i dont really know where im gonna put it. ill figure it out once i think its full of enough artists. right now there is only 1 artist page that finished. ill get it done eventually but i need to get back in the habit of fixing things up here. thats all for today. knowing me ill probably get back onto here in a week lol

entry 5: may 23, 2020

so... this is embarrassing but its almost been a full month since ive gotten on here and updated yall. as you can probably see if yove been here for a bit, i changed the name of my site... i wasnt really feeling the last one so i changed it :p anyway, i guess i should fill you in on my life. summer finally landed in my city and its been v hot. my dad got a pool for us to use at his place which is really nice since i cant handle heat well. i also threw myself a little prom since i missed mine due to rona. i will obviously not post any pictures but just know that i looked really cute. i also started a new hobby of making earrings. theyre prob just gonna be for me and my friends but its still funn to make them. ah yeah ive been playing animal crossing a bit but since im still busy with schoolwork and family stuff, im not playing as much as i thought i would. school is (thankfully) gonna be ending soon in my city. it usually ends in june and im fine with that but im just so tired of work that i wish we ended in may. i havent had anything nice like a hecking sign or anything from my school but they said they would give us stuff next week. lets hope its good. i havent been doing anything with this site which sucks but hopefully ill get more to it. i really want to finish up the music hub since thats more of passion thing instead of a necessity. im happy to be back and i feel like i can communicate more like myself now. ive surprisingly made some improvements in my life because of all this and hopefully it keeps going even after this quarantine is over. btw, if you spport the protests on the quarantine ur a fuqqing ✨idiot✨

entry 6: june 22, 2020

yeah yeah yeah... i know. its been a month again... i just have to accept that i will never be consistent with updating. just a couple updates on my life. i graduate tomorrow!!!ヽ(^◇^*)/ ive been waiting for so long to graduate and its finally happening!!! i decorated my cap with bt21 because i need to keep my status as the kpop stan thats too obsessed with kawaii things *-* ill attach a photo (for real this time). lets see... what else... oh yeah! it was my dogs 5th birthday yesterday. shes getting so old but i love her more and more everyday. shes such a cutie ♥‿♥ anywhoo i realized recently that my favorite color list has changed for the first time in like 10 years. if you want to know, it is
  • 1.) purple >‿‿◕
  • 2.) pink (this is new addition)
  • 3.) blue (moved down from 2nd position)
so yeah, i really like pink now. mostly pastel pink but it feels weird. i spent years of my life being like 'im not like other girls bleh bleh bleh' and now i have just accepted my internalized mysogyny and i just really like girly things. oh shit! i almost forgot to mention that i got back into a few things from when i was younger. ahem. first off, i got back into a few different j fashions. stuff like decora and fairy kei. i would love to dress fairy kei but i also really like my more casual clothes... at some point ill start building up a more alternative closet for when i want to dress that way. secondly, i got back into my little pony. i deadass was soooooo into mlp when i was younger. i was a full on pegasister. i started rewatching the show and remembered why i liked it so much. its just really fun and goofy. i used to be embarassed about the fact that i liked mlp but i realized that it wasnt the show that was the problem. it was me lol. i was a kid so i was naturally cringy (yes i know that cringe culture is dead but i just refuse to let it die for myself.) but with the cringy stuff came all the fun creative things i used to do with my friends who also liked it. shoutout to izzy and annie! they were the ones who introduced me to the show in the first place. anyway, thirdly, i got back into dolls. stuff like monster high dolls and barbies. in fact, i bought my first ever fashionista line barbie. ive wanted one since they came out but i could never find the ~one~ until this weekend. shes so pretty! i got the 121 doll. she has green eyes and brown hair and a really pretty dress. shes just the perfect starter doll for me. the only thing that makes me sad is that they dont have names. i guess that makes it easier to play and make up stories for them but i almost feel bad for them haha. but with monster high, you cant buy dolls in the stores from what ive seen. also the rebot dolls arent exatly fantastic so i wouldnt buy one for myself. im pretty sure im gonna have a marathon session of the old movies soon too. at least... the ones that are on netflix >.< well, im gonna sign off cause i think i talked long enough. my plan for now is to sign on tomorrow and talk about my graduation experience because i want a diary of sorts for this. lets hope i do that! love you guys! bye!!!(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

entry 7: june 23, 2020

its very late after my graduation and i have finally arrived to relay my day to you all. im like high key sure theres noone actually reading these but its fine. anyway... i finally graduatedO(≧▽≦)O i dont think it has actually hit me yet that im a fucking highschool graduate. sadly i didnt cry like i was expecting but i almost got there when i heard one of my friends long term goals. she is literally the sweetest person ever and she said something really cute about cherishing the people she cares about. also i got this blanket from my school with the logo from my department and class year on it. i guess it hasnt hit yet because it just doesnt feel like the end yet. i know im going to get to see my close friends again but not all of my friends. until i cross that line, i dont think ill feel like actually sad. like for real sad. for now im focusing on getting things collected from today and finishing a place for them. anyway in general my graduation was pretty nice other than the rain. my school worked really hard to make sure that we felt appreciated and like we had a real exit. i cant shit on them because it meant a lot to me. i didnt get to say goodbye to my music teachers but that was okay. i probably would have cried if i did have to lol. i have some special plans tomorrow which i cant reveal (just in case) but once it happens i might tell yall. i cant post any pictures of my graduation because of privacy reasons but i can assure you that i looked like a mega cutie. i feel like im scarping for memories from today... oh shit yeah! i finally got to see my friends after months of not seeing them! i gave them some earrings i made and im pretty sure they liked them. i made them in their favorite colors too so i think they appreciated that. i missed them so much like i cant even lie. i knew that i would be happy to see them but just being with them and talking and catching up felt so natural. we arent going to get to do that at the placec we met ever again. im never gonna get to sit in class with them and laugh about stupid shit or walk to the train station together. no more trying to get our gym teacher to play n*sync during class or learning new music together. i guess its the time for change but i cant help but feel bad that we wont get to make memories together in that same way anymore. were all going to different schools and its gonna be difficult to come together once school starts... if they ever come across this by chance i guess i want to say thank you and i love you. i know im not a great friend so thanks for putting up with me.

entry 7: july 25, 2020

hi hi yall! soooooo its been a while lol. sorry about that you guys. i hope you dont hate me but im sure that no one is reading this anyway haha. anyway, i just wanted to give some updates! i travelled to a different state recently and that was mega fun! i wore my mask the whole time so dont be too worried about me anywhoo... during my travels, i did an online orientation for college! since i was traveling, i couldnt get a good internet connection and i was forced to do it through a phone call instead of the video chat(∩︵∩) it was okay though. i got the info i needed. then i waited for a week to get an email so i can register for classes and it turns out that it was in my spam the whole time(╯◕_◕)╯ i got my schedule together eventually so now i know what my life will be like for a couple months. also!!! i got a job!!! this is my first job ever and im so excited my dudes! i get to work retail which is very nice because i like clothes so it should be good to work around a bunch of clothes. i am a bit worried about like bad customers or like covid risks but ill be as careful as i can be my loves. i guess another thing that i want to talk about is that i have kind of been coming to terms with my sexuality and that i might actually like legit be into girls... ive always been a late bloomer so it makes sense that i wouldnt realize something like this for a while haha. i dont know anything for sure yet so i dont think i have a real indentity but ive been kind of leaning toward maybe bi??? i dont know... im honestly just happy to say this really outloud. the only people who actually know are my brother, my mom, and 2 friends. i cant be out to my dad because hes super religious and i dont know how he would react. he wouldnt disown or anything and he also wouldnt like hurt me because of it but i really look up to him and i dont want him to look at me like theres something wrong with me you know? if my feelings are real then ill have to tell him eventually. ill also probably wait to tell him until i leave his house and i dont have to worry that he could kick me out though its very unlikely. but yeahhh thats what my life has been like lately. kinda hectic and strange but im happy for the change. it feels like my anxiety has been getting slightly better about certain things. like i can make phone calls without worrying tooo much. and i can pick up my phone easily too!!! thats really exciting for me. i hope that this continues and i get better and better about feeling less anxious but its okay if it doesnt. ill get to a good place eventually and all the ups and downs are just part of my journey。◕‿◕。 anyway... im gonna go. i dont know if this was like oversharing but its not like anyone actually reads this regularly so whatever

p.s. i used picrew earlier and made a rough avatar of myself so im gonna include it so you can get an idea of what i sort of look like. this is the link for it if you want to use the same artists set!

entry 7: august 27, 2020

hola crew! i am back after a month of being fucking gone. sorry for the long hiatus but things have been kinda crazy lately. i started my first job and its been going pretty well. im working retail so obviously things get kinda crazy and i get some pretty rude people but overall its been nice. plus ive been making money so i can deal with a rude customer if that means i get cash ( ̄ー ̄) i had a covid scare at some point too but i got tested asap and i was negative so im super happy about that. oh and i also start school on monday so thats pretty epic. my life is getting pretty busy right now but i feel good about everything thats happening. im not like 100% good emotionally but ive been doing really good lately. i mean... i cried in my bed last saturday but i felt pretty good after that so im good. i recognize that i might never be completely emotionally stable but im okay with that because when the bad moments happen i can appreciate the great moments even more. life would be boring if everything went amazing. but yeah im gonna start some classes for my major which means that i have to buy textbooks. theyre fairly expensive so thank goodness i got a job when i did. oh! i just want to mention a few things before i log off of here. first is that i have been playing a lot more video games so ive played a shit ton of sims 4, minecraft, the walking dead in this past month. second is that im thinking of mayyyyyyybe putting my book onto this site so people can read it but ill have full control over it at all times... but idk i might not. my friend drew some art for one of the main characters of it and it was super cute. i love her so much man. shout out to olivia! love you bb. but i think thats it. ill go for now... wow this month has been boring...